Back to work!

(funny moments included)

Insect count: a small flying bug (I can't seem to get rid of them!)

T5B: 1) I'm back to work and though I thought it would be really hard to be back, it felt like I'd never left. 2) I got a TON of work done today. (I had to sort of flog myself to do it... but it's done!) 3) I FINALLY got my SLP for the week. 4) I was incredibly blessed with ideas and was able to work quickly so though I am teaching several new lessons this week, at least they're ready to go! 5) Some of my fears were laid to rest.

Base body temp: 36.63 (C of course - in F 97.934 which is actually hot for me, and I woke up overheated. I usually run between 93-95. That's one of the reasons I've surmised my body doesn't like the heat. It doesn't run very hot so it doesn't know what to do with heat.)

The night was icky. It was so hot, but once again I didn't want to get up so I would switch on my fan and go back to sleep. At one point I almost didn't put it on as I didn't want it to throw off the base body temp I am required to take everyday. (I have posted it above and will continue to do so until I'm done or until you tell me to knock it off.) I was being ridiculous though as I realized it was still dark so it was definitely before 4h30 - sure enough it was 3h30. I switched on my fan and went back to sleep. I woke up overheated, took my temp, then got going on my day. I was doing SO well and running WAY ahead of schedule. In fact, I was able to cook myself some eggs for breakfast. Then I realized that though I thought I had laid out and prepared everything for me return, I didn't know where my bus card. Cue intense immediate stress. I knew where I thought I had put it, but it wasn't there. On top of that, because my doctor appointment was more expensive than expected, I only had $30 on me. I searched at my place, everywhere I could quickly. All the places I assumed I would put it since it wasn't where I HAD placed it were fruitless. I was sweaty at that point and extremely unhappy. I kept telling myself, "Don't let this ruin your day." ~The bus drivers have $30 cards but the office prefers we buy the $50 ones. Also I will have to confess I have managed to lose ANOTHER bus card. I'm sure they don't track me THAT closely, but I did not use my bus card on my break because it would be dishonest. I am reimbursed for them as a work expense so I use them for work only. In any case, I left the house almost in tears with a tight feeling in my chest. I barely noticed that my skirt was much looser. (My shirts are SO baggy now, but it's a badge of pride for me.) I spent the bus ride searching my bag for my card again but again was unable to find it. Finally I emailed one of my BFFs about my worries. That INSTANTLY loosened my chest. I knew she, of all people, would understand the real source of my stress.

For those of you who skipped my post yesterday or the one paragraph I posted, I talked about what I found out at the gyno. One thing was that I have an inflamed cervix. I started to read about it online and I got as far as "Could be caused by chlamydia or cancer" and I couldn't read anymore. I don't have chlamydia unless it's been dormant a VERY long time and so I was up a lot of the night wondering what I would do if it turned out to be cancer. Part of me felt like, "Of COURSE I'll get cancer! It's right on par with other disasters over which I've had no control in my life." (For those of you who know the details of my life, you'll know what I mean.) In any case, once I emailed her I felt a lot better. I also told her about my uterus being malformed and that carries with it a 44% chance of miscarrying if I ever get pregnant. It was a HEAVY burden to be carrying. After my chest loosened, I was able to breathe and calm down. I got to the school, bought my card from the driver (sorry the office - I'm doing my best and if you want to hear my sob story, I'll give it to you!).

I got in after the morning meeting (as I often do), sat on the side and then took great pleasure in saying hello to everyone. The principal (he's intimidating - a very nice man, but the most powerful and respected man in the school and I'm always worried I'll do or say something stupid) asked me if I had a good summer break. I said, "Ii desu." (It's good.) Ya.. I should have made it past tense, but I was scared when he addressed me directly. He then asked if I got Nastubate. I told him, "Sukoshi dake." (Just a little - I think) Then he stopped talking and I scurried away. I should have asked back but I was terrified. I sat down, and put my things in order. I started working right away on my Deaf school lesson that I received yesterday. After the other grade meetings, suddenly it was cleaning time. What the... So I jumped up and helped. I think it was the "after the break" clean-up. It was very quick. The students didn't even empty the big trashes, just the small ones. ... Ok. So I went back to my desk. After that, there was an opening ceremony.

The opening ceremony was ... well I didn't understand any of it and it felt like it went on forever. Luckily I brought my fan since it was HOT in the gym with all the students. In fact, I could tell I was getting close to passing out so though I didn't see anyone else with a fan, I fanned myself and rearranged my stance several times. Finally when I thought it would never end, I looked back at the second graders (because there was noise) and saw a boy fall into the people in front of him, who moved, and he slumped to the ground. Between the heat and probably locking his knees (since we were forced to stand the whole time - maybe not forced but everyone stood the whole time) he passed out. Then suddenly everyone was told to sit down. I plopped down and then noticed all the other teachers had remained standing. Well, I had felt faint and I was already sitting so I stayed down. Shortly after that, they excused everyone but another girl (actually Miss Sansa) was ashen and unsteady. Fujieda-s and I were helping her (I was fanning her - since they always fan you when you pass out), but she had to sit down again. Her lips were grey. She ended up sitting for a few minutes. I stayed as well as F-s, and 3 of her friends. They chatted and laughed and I hovered wanting to give advice since I've passed out and know some things to do but language barrier! Grr! Oikawa-s came back with an electrolyte drink. He's a sweet man. :) Once they got her up and moving I finally said something to F-s. "She should lie down with her feet elevated to get some blood in her head and face." "That's where she's going right now." Oh great! :/ LOL Maybe they didn't need me, but realistically if the girl needed to be carried those two tiny Japanese women (the other teacher who came back and convinced this girl to move is the Home-Ec teacher: Bessho-s) they would have mightily struggled. I probably couldn't have carried her alone, but I have a history of lifting weights so that plays in my favor. Anyway... it was crazy.

After that I worked on lesson plans. I practically burned myself out on them. I was mentally flogging myself to get done. I didn't have time to do it later since I would be teaching it later. I had prepared a lesson for the first graders before the break but that was thrown out. So I am teaching two new lessons tomorrow, another new one Thursday, and another on Friday. So I pushed myself to finish those. Luckily I know the next two weeks for the first graders. I will work on that tomorrow. At some point I decided to eat lunch. I wasn't starving but I was sick of working. It was about 20 minutes before lunch officially started (lunch started at 12h50) but Moniwa-s (one of the VPs) was eating so I figured I could too. So I grabbed my things and ate. I had packed a little less food than I used to because I knew I wouldn't want THAT much. However I surprised myself by not being able to finish. So there you go - my clothes are loose and I've reduced my portion size. I was worried I might go crazy during the summer and increase my portions when I lost the structure work affords, but I didn't! Whew.

After lunch suddenly there was a HEAVY downpour. I actually sat up straighter and had more energy. It was very humid, but I just felt better. (Today was pretty hot all day and the heat stroke warning was on - it wasn't flashing like that other day though.) Soon the rain ended but I continued to flog myself onward. (I was SO burnt out on lesson planning and worksheet making but I had to get it done - well I guess that's not true. I didn't HAVE to do Thursday and Friday yet, but I didn't want to be only a day ahead of my lessons - that doesn't give me much time to get my worksheets approved (checked off at least by the JTE). So I pushed and pushed. I finally had to take a break to go to the bathroom. Since I was rushing around looking for my card this morning I forgot my big clip and had to keep my hair down all day. When I got to the bathroom, my hair was HUGE. LOL It was funny and a bit shocking (no pun intended) to see myself looking like I had stuck my finger in a light socket. When I got back to my desk, I finally finished all my prep (well my worksheets as much as I could) for this week. That was at 14h30. I couldn't push myself to do anything else. I purposely saved those other first grade worksheets for tomorrow. I already had a bunch of printing to do when I got home. I killed time after that until it was cleaning time (I studied Japanese and then spent some time stressing about cancer). After this second cleaning time, Moniwa-s started to ask me about my summer vacation. He asked me how long I had been in Japan and I told him, "I think... hyaku go juu." (150) He said, "No, no!" He asked me about summer and if I had gone home. I told him no and he was very surprised. I told him I went to Hokkaido and some places I visited. After he went back to his desk I realized I should have asked about his summer. I felt so nervous. He was working but I approached him and said, "Gomen, natsuyasumi ha doko ni ikimashita ka?" I meant to say (and hopefully succeeded): "Sorry (since I was interrupting). Where did you go for summer break?" He told me he went to Ichinoseki. "Kazoku?" (family) I asked. Yes and he does this every summer. (Oh man which reminds me, poor Hashimoto-s had a rough summer. He had two aunts pass away and his father is in and out of the hospital with renal failure. :( ) After that I caught Fujieda-s and asked her about yearbooks. I asked if they made them in Japan, mentioned I would be in it, and asked if I could buy one at the end of the year. She said that they were expensive (since this will be my only chance to have pictures of all my students, worth it ~ she said environ $100) but that I could buy one if I wanted. YES!

After I went back to my desk, a second grader I had met once passed me. I said hello to her using her name and she freaked out in excitement. Her friend then told me her name and I asked if they were in the same (onaji) class. They are. I have two friends in 2.1. As I will start teaching them next month or the one after, can't hurt! :) I mean, I would want to be friendly with them anyway, but this will help my reception in that class. Oh also at some point today Oikawa-s asked me to write a portion of the third graders term test. *gulp* Ok. I am happy to help, but this means I have to please 3 teachers and the instructions were fairly vague. I will work on that later. As I was killing time at my desk, a HUGE dragonfly (like the one at CS) flew into the window. I cried out (didn't yell thankfully, but I was loud), "What the heck is that!?" and ducked. LOL No one else even flinched or moved. Oh well.

The bus ride home was nice and actually I got to confess my worries to Jerod - he's always been good with research - and he sent me back some information he found. The list of causes (talking about the inflamed cervix again) includes STDs (psh), cancer, bacterial vaginosis (I had that shortly after getting married and I knew this wasn't it unless it's nothing like the other case I had), and hormonal imbalance. DING DING DING! I think we have a winner. Considering I have been so up and down ~ and extremely so it feels like to me ~ makes sense to me that this one is the culprit. At least I could take cancer off the table. I still won't find out until I take back my temperature monitoring chart but I'm glad he looked up some information for me. I read a little on the bus and then when I got home I spent my last couple dollars on a baked good I was really craving. After my day I felt I deserved it. I went home, ate my treat, finished my book (REALLY frustrating ending ~ The Partner, John Grisham), and just finished printing my worksheets and pictures I need for my lessons this week. I have to make a game for Thursday tomorrow and I'll work on the other stuff I mentioned. Feeling a little overworked, but glad that I felt good being back at school. Tomorrow is supposed to be really hot, here's hoping it's not! Hope you all are doing well. XOXO, A

P.S. I have been in Japan for 152 days now so on September 20 (a month from today), I will hit my halfway mark! It's insane... 6 months in Japan. I wish I spoke better Japanese. :/ What a complex language - I have been blessed though in my endeavors to learn thus far.

the omiyage (gifts) from other teachers who visited various locales that were on my desk today - the red one was a "spicy" fish cracker, the frog one was a butter cookie, and the lemon lime one was two super thin wafers with lemon lime filling thinly spread between - all very good