basal temp: 36.44
Morning:
- my sleep was crazy!
- I got ready for church
- I got soaked riding to church (raining all day!)
- church was nice
Notes: Oh man, my pants were almost dry and I thought "Oh I know, I'll wear them and they'll dry with my body heat!" Uh... ya it rained on me all the way to church. DOH! -- RS was fun. Sister Gas translated from Japanese and I translated into French for Sister Mataoa. :) It was pretty fun. :)
Afternoon:
- got to skype my family
- got to skype Jerod
- rode my bike home (got wet all over again)
- ate lunch and IMed Jerod
Notes: I feel bad. I didn't give my dad a chance to try out his new laptop on Skype (since we skyped on my mom's laptop). I got off so I could ride home while it was still daylight and then it occurred to me: I should skype Jerod! Since he's at his mom's house right now, and I was at the church (I use their wifi so I can use my data on my worksheets)... so I skyped him too! :/ It was good to see him but it was a fairly sobering talk. Teresa is sicker than I realized -- also I'm always hoping for the best. I'm going to try to get to church early next Sunday so I can skype her before she goes to bed. I felt badly because I did a lot of crying. :/ I'm constantly praying for Teresa and for her kids and her husband who are all spending time with her right now. I hope they know how much I love them all and am hoping for the best for them.
Evening:
- bid Jerod goodnight
- ate some dinner (feeling crappy so was only to manage some soup and an apple :/)
- listened to Bill Cosby to lift my spirits (did this last night too)
Notes: I'm feeling awfully powerless right now. And I've gotten into that trap of worrying about my circle of concern rather than influence. :/ I don't understand why being sick and tired makes everything SO MUCH HARDER. Anyway, I hope my mom got some good sleep - she was EXHAUSTED. (Love you Maman!) I mostly skyped my Papa and that was really nice for me to talk to him for a long time. :) He usually has to run an errand shortly after I start skyping them. (Picking up one of my siblings typically.) My poor Papa got to spend some time with Windows 8. What a monstrosity! He's already got 8.1 though. I'm jealous! I need it! He told me about his laptop saga and also the BYU game. Sounded epic. I'm sad I missed it, but at the same time I'm glad I did. I woulda been ripping out my hair in frustration! Glad we won though! Go cougars!!
Positive thought for the evening: Jerod watched President Eyring's priesthood session talk (he felt inspired to do so) and I read it so we could talk about it. Oh! Today I got a calling! I am the choir director .. we don't have a choir. Yet! LOL In any case, I thought about President Eyring's call to love one another more. Sometimes I feel like my heart is already too big, but then I thought about the students (that have hurt my feelings ~ made me cry) that I dread seeing. I thought, "I'm sure I can love them. I just need to pray for that." I also thought about how he talked about the Lord (and our leaders) asking us to do things for OUR benefit. I've always looked at my callings as an opportunity for the Lord to work through me. And I tried to magnify them. Now I feel like I've wasted a lot of time (as it were) missing out on looking for the things the Lord had for me. That is, not magnifying myself (per our RS lesson today - Lorenzo Snow lesson 18), but being open to what the Lord wants me to learn. So I've been thinking about that. It makes me think the Lord wants me to get closer to the members. I only see them once a week. I don't really speak Japanese. I love them, but I don't know much about many of them. So this is my chance to spend some more time with them, to share my talents and ask them to share theirs with me. I love to sing and I look forward to a learning (I've never been a choir director before! At least I've been a choir member several times!) and edifying experience with them. I will continue to pray that I am fulfilling my purpose in Japan. In messaging Jerod this evening I made a discovery about myself. I told him, "I'm not here to teach English. I'm here to teach my students that they are capable." I dearly hope (with the suicide rate being fairly high in Japan) that all of my students believe in themselves. I already can think of two students whose attitudes did 180s in English class. Often I am feeding them answers, but my role, as I see it, is for them NOT to give up. When those two smile and laugh all class period (and we're working on hard stuff!), it's so worth. I thank my Father in Heaven in my heart for His help. I get down a lot lately but I'd like to lay that all at the feet of feeling so icky (for various reasons) for so long. I'm getting a new medication on Wednesday and I feel really hopeful about it. In the meantime, I'm SO GRATEFUL for my Father in Heaven's patience with me. I swear I'm like a kid banging their head against the wall constantly asking, "Why does my head hurt!?" But I'm trying to learn, I'm trying to grow and I continue to pray that I will be the teacher my students need me to be. Love you all and hope you have a wonderful Sabbath! XOXO, A
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| Look at that! I didn't get enough sleep - but that says to me that my body has realized it's in dire straits and needed to do some repairing! |
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| My Papa! I tried to get him smiling but I missed! |
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| Jerod's hello :) (although this may seem racist, he was making a bunch of faces and this was the one I caught) |
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| My turn to make a face! |
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| Another face from Jerod :) |
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| Rain anyone? -- Ironically it's now just about 2200 and I think the rain has stopped. Take that 100% chance of rain!! |
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