No repeats please

Insect count: 0! thank goodness

T5B: 1) I made it through the day! 2) My PE track third graders were really happy to see me today and really worked hard for me. :) 3) I have all my lessons but one done (for this week). And the last one has been started (it's for Friday). 4) I got a very sweet email from my older sister today. :) 5) I got my craft back! :D!!

Basal temp: 36.41

This morning started out early again. It took me a while to fall asleep. I kept starting awake when I was almost asleep. It was really strange. I would start drifting off then my body would PANIC. As if to say, "Oh no!! Not sleep! We're too tired for that! Sound the alarm! ALERT! ALERT! ALERT!" And my eyes would pop open with a gasp. I "only" did it three times but man it wore me out. Then I, again, woke up early to be in pain. At least today I only woke up 25 minutes early instead of an hour+ early. So I am grateful for that. I laid in bed, in pain, and tried to psych myself up for the day. I just had a general malaise that I was trying to shoo away because I didn't want to take it with me to school. When my alarm went off I got up and started to get ready. When I was done getting ready, I got out the door. (Side note: Donut's so cute! I've got him trained I guess. When I open the top of his tank, he swims right up and waits for food. Today, though I had fed him, I thought it would be nice to leave the little hatch open so he could see out better and maybe fresh air? I dunno, I love that little guy. In any case, he swam up all excited. LOL I felt badly since I realized I had trained him to respond that way and I gave him two little pellets of food (which he gobbled up) and then left the top open. Then off I went to the bus. It was sprinkling and I had put my hair in socks so I took my umbrella out and had a fairly pleasant walk to the bus stop.

The bus ride to school was nice (my pain was only mostly excruciating - definitely not as bad as Saturday). When I got to the school I waited at the side and heard the end of the main meeting. Suddenly the VP was saying something about Oikawa-s and byouki or byouin (sick or hospital ~ maybe both). Sure enough, I asked and Oikawa-s is in the hospital. :< Not only that - this Friday is when Hashimoto-s goes in. Watch the doctor Saturday tell me I should get that surgery redone (which was an outpatient surgery in the US) and put me in the hospital. Then MM will be down THREE English teachers! Still, I feel that Oikawa-s and Hashimoto-s have problems more serious than my own. I want so much to help them and visit them at the hospital but I have no idea if that's even appropriate. :/ I figure I will email them both while they are in the hospital. (Oikawa-s gave me his cell number and I kept it for emergencies but I feel like ... it would be GROSSLY inappropriate for me to call. Well, maybe not GROSSLY. But I do feel like I would end up being a nuisance rather than a help. :/ In any case, after the main meeting was over, I then went to my desk and started preparing. Luckily since I photocopied the right pages Saturday I was able to finish that worksheet for this morning Saturday evening. I thus had the master in hand and was able to make my copies. I made copies for my first two classes and then headed to my first class.

Oh man. This class is PAINFULLY shy. I played a Jeopardy game with them... two people played. DAH! I asked for ideas from Fujieda-s afterwards and she gave me some good ones. I then had a prep period so I made the copies for my other two classes and looked through the pretest I had given that first class. I talked to Fujieda-s again and then shredded those papers (as the listening portion of the exam will be almost identical and I didn't want answer floating around. I didn't even make a key though I labeled one paper such ~ really it's more like "Ann's copy"). After that I had a few minutes before third period (which I was teaching) and just spaced while I waited.

My second class, third period, went SO horribly. I wanted to cry. (Part of that is hormones I know, but it was really abysmal.) The kids wouldn't listen and I though I repeatedly asked the JTE for help and he SAID "Ok," he did nothing. It was SO frustrating. The kids walked all over me and the JTE let them do it. (Oh I remembered the other fun fact I meant to mention before - I've lost some 14-15 kilos since getting here.)

After that I was supposed to teach with Oikawa-s. They sent another third grade teacher with me. When I walked into the class, some of the boys cheered (thank GOODNESS as they used to receive me in stony, distrustful silence). We played thimbleful, which was a blast. Then we did the test prep Oikawa-s asked me to prepare for them (they have a different test than the other third graders). They did REALLY well. I was so pleased. Everything was going very smoothly then suddenly the other teacher kicked me out. They said to me, "Are you done yet? You can leave now." The tone sounded terse to me and I was really shocked. It really hurt my feelings too. But I swallowed it, said ok, gathered my worksheets and left. :( (It's been a REALLY rough day for me. I would have missed Oikawa-s ANYWAY, but now I REALLY miss him. Sheesh.)

Next was lunch. I worked on some things (oh and in that earlier prep period I wrote out an idea for that emoticon lesson). I blocked out the emoticon lesson in more detail and corrected worksheets and then I ate. After lunch I talked to Suzuki-s (f) about what I had prepared and she signed off on it. I thus go to work making the worksheet. I finished that and then worked on other school things and a grocery list (since this week is super packed and I just want to be organized).

Then came my last class and the last class of the day. The lesson, thankfully, went well. In fact I took two pictures today (one from each first grade/sophomore class). They made me laugh - and amid the mountain of pain, that was helpful. After class I corrected their worksheets (a measely 225 today), and helped with cleaning time. I actually finished worksheets just as it was time to go so I packed up my things, said my goodbyes and took off.

Today was very demoralizing for me. There were small bright moments, but that class really got to me and those two teachers really got me down. I was so humiliated in front of my students by being summarily and rudely, IMO, dismissed. I hope they don't learn to treat women that way. :( I also had a migraine building all day and just felt disgusting. The bus ride home was hard because I didn't want to cry until I got to my apartment. Once I did, I just sobbed and sobbed. I feel SO crappy (emotionally and physically). I just need a BREAK. I just need for people to treat me well, and for my body to treat me well and for someone to take care of me for a few days. I'm so weary and ill today. I'm glad I'll have my older sister with me Saturday. It will be good to see her and spend time with her. Now I just have to make it to that day. Man I want to just curl in a ball and pass out and stay that way until things are good. I REALLY hope the doctor can do something for me. In the meantime, I have to make it through tomorrow. I'm dreading it a bit. The same teacher who kicked me out of the classroom today is the one with whom I'm teaching ALL of my classes tomorrow. :c And if they sub for Oikawa-sensei again, I will be seeing them Thursday for our longer class periods as well. :/ I just have to make it through this week. I keep praying in my heart, "PLEASE let the doctor have answers or let him do something to curb this." It sure feels like my body is mutinying and I've tried to treat it so well over the years. :/ Oh well.

I cooked dinner, and I cried. So, big night for me. Also I forgot to tell you, when E' Hakaraia translated for me on Sunday he said, "I've heard you have an amazing singing voice." I had NO IDEA what to say. I said something but I don't remember what. It made me feel incredibly self conscious though! :/ Hard to sing when you feel like someone is listening to every note.

I hope I get some sleep tonight. I hope we all get sleep! Just sayin... XOXO, A

at least my hair looked nice

Above he had written that his bad news was his uncle was dying - and then this. LOL I laughed pretty hard.

Oh man - I'm not sure to whom this was addressed... but since they know I gather the worksheets ... LOL (Also they learned the phrase, "Oh no!" today.)