basal temp: 36.84
I forgot to mention a story from yesterday! For my self-introduction, one student asked me my favorite band. "My favorite band is System of a Down." "ME TOO!" "Hontou ni!?" (Really!?) He told me his favorite song is Sugar and asked mine. I named several. I asked him if he likes Serj's solo stuff and he said no. I told him I like it. But ya, really cool moment for me - most students have never heard of SoaD.
So this morning, I fell asleep late and woke up early. DAH! However I was able to go back to sleep for a little while. So I ended up with 6-7 hours of sleep. YAY! When I got up I firstly cleaned my bathroom. It's a nightmare and I was so sick of it being filthy so I just cleaned it. After that I showered and waited for the time to go to the hospital to arrive (I had like 45 minutes). When the time came, I hopped on my bike and rode down. I got there 5 minutes early and gave them my card. Shortly thereafter Yasue showed up and waited with me. We chatted and she helped me work on a lesson plan. Soon it came time (about an hour and a quarter later) to get my MRI. I had purposely not worn any jewelry other than one ring. I also had worn scrub bottoms as well. The only thing was my underwire. I let them know about it and answered some other questions (no I do not have a pacemaker, etc). Then they had me take my bra off as well as my shoes. Then I waited for my turn. We waited another maybe 30 minutes then they called me over. First thing? An injection! !? I said, "Kowai!" And they laughed. They told me it would hurt - but luckily I barely felt it. I looked away and then it was over. :) Then they got me into the room - we got me all squared away and tucked in and they stuck me in this TINY tube (well there was room but I have a little claustrophobia and I was hyperventilating). I did breathing techniques to calm myself down. Then suddenly, PANIC! I yelled out, "Chotto matte!" (Wait a second!) They pulled me out and kept telling me in Japanese that they didn't speak English. I used the most formal apology (there is no excuse) and kept saying "I forgot!" in Japanese. Ya... my bellybutton ring. DOH! (There is a reason I have it that is very personal to me - don't worry, I talked to my old stake president about it.) Ya... luckily it was at the beginning, and they weren't angry with me... but I felt like such an idiot and a jerk! I barely notice it usually so I forgot completely. :c They told me I had ten minutes to go and then stuck me back in. I once again closed my eyes and did breathing techniques and sang hymns in my head. I tried to make up a story in my head, but I was too freaked out for that kind of linear thought. I would sing a line of a hymn then count my breathing then sing another line of a hymn... ten minutes felt like an hour but then they were pulling me out! Whew. I looked up at the machine where it said "namae" (name) and ya... only "Carlisle" was right. (Karairu) I told him I looked up and said, "Dare desu ka!?" (Who's that!?) They put my first name as "Anitsuku." Instead of a small "tsu" to make it Anikku (small tsu means double letter), they made it a big "tsu" - so the full character. I told them it was wrong but they just shrugged. Oh well.
I remembered the way back and we walked back to the office. I don't know if it was pain, the medication, or all the hyperventilating I had done, but the walk back was shaky. My head was swimming and swirling. By the time we got a corridor away, I started to sway and walked sideways into the wall. Yasue looked back, I told her I was dizzy and she motioned for me to sit. Well, I am a stubborn girl! I pushed forward, swaying and holding onto the wall to get closer to the office. These two women watched me in mute horror. I think they expected me to pass out at any minute. They asked me about my medication - I told them how sick it made me. They asked me if I wanted to lie down, I turned that down. They also said if I wanted to see the doctor I could. I figured they would charge me for that and what was he going to do!? "You should lie down." Ah gee thanks doc. So I said no to that too. They prepared the bill and then I went downstairs to pay it. This time it wasn't as long a wait (they were at 1085 and I got 1112). Then I got up to hear the damage: $65. Really that was a miracle. When my hometeachers were here, they asked me how much money I had. I pulled out my coin purse and shook out $14 onto the ground. (Another reason Shuwa-kyoudai lent me some money.) So making that $58 meant I had just enough to pay tithing and my bill and have a couple dollars left over. I wasn't please with the price, but I felt very blessed. :)
After that, Yasue and I walked out to our bikes. She expressed concern about me getting home ok but I told her I lived close. I pedaled home and have spent most of the rest of the day in bed. Bruce stopped by to ask about the French classes and to ask me to take some more hours this Saturday (I figured, why not? I only took two of them though - 1030-1230 I'll be helping. I don't know if I will be paid, but I hope so!). Limor also called and I had planned on watching a movie but by the time our conversation was over it was too late. :/ Hopefully tomorrow evening. (It's disheartening for me though. I felt crappy and planned to treat myself to popcorn and a movie but now I don't have time. :c) Hope you're all doing well. Hope tomorrow is better at school than yesterday was! Love you! XOXO, A
One more thing: Some of you know, Jerod approached me (not literally of course) about getting back together in... April. There is a turbulent history leading up to that (at least from January 2012-up until that time) and I felt like I couldn't trust that he was being serious. Then at some point in June, I told him no. I told him it wouldn't work and he couldn't give me what I was looking for. He asked me what it would take to make me happy and I told him I wanted the Jerod I married. I wanted the Jerod with a testimony and a love of the priesthood and scriptures. He asked if there was wiggle room and I told him absolutely not. I also told him (since he has been talking about coming to Japan to "pick me up" at the end of my contract) that I don't even want to see him if he doesn't have his temple recommend and his priesthood. His mom told me I was being too harsh, but I feel like, "This is MY relationship and I only want what I've always wanted. Jerod knew from the start what I wanted." In any case, he has continually stepped up but I have offered him only a small portion of my heart. That's not to say that there was someone else there, I just didn't feel like I could trust him. I was told in a blessing that what happened with mine and Jerod's relationship would be according to the Lord's will. Because of the last 6-7 months of our marriage, I felt like Jerod was going to change his mind. The really good talk I mentioned a few days ago is when I finally told him all my insecurities about "us." I put all my fears out there. "What if you leave me again?" He assured me he would never let go of me again and shared some things that are his thoughts and not my place to share. It was a conversation that helped me to grow and relax a little. (Sorry long back story) As I was reading the chapter on unity last week (Lorenzon Snow chap 16) the Spirit asked me, "How can you ever be unified with Jerod when you are holding all his past mistakes against him?" Man, nailed right in the heart. The Lord, as always, is right. Even if we're not meant to be together, I can only benefit from letting all those things go. I'm terrified - my big three things: my health, me and Jerod, and whether or not I should stay in Japan have been hanging over my head. I feel like my Heavenly Father is asking me to see Jerod as He sees him and to forgive and SEE him. And I can see already how much he has changed. Life isn't perfect, but my Father in Heaven is. So I prayed right away for help forgetting all the bad things that happened. I wouldn't like it if someone held my past against me. I have grown and changed throughout my life and would like people to take me as I am now. So, although I cannot say if it's the Lord's will that Jerod and I end up together, I DO know that the Lord loves me and the Lord loves Jerod and the Lord is asking me to open my eyes and open my heart. So I will follow that counsel. Now I can't control how any of you feel about Jerod, but I will say that he has treated me better and better since April. I have been hard on him (holding his past sins against him) and he has been nothing but patient, apologetic, and loving. So the Lord asked ME to give Jerod a chance. I'm now letting you know WHY I have chosen to do so.
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| Another autocorrect mishap while talking about vitamin D consumption and absorption (cancer beds - tanning beds). For me it appears that not having fur is alarming. ;) |
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