A day I'm criticized for not being Japanese

T5B: 1) I got to message Jerod more than usual today (today - well Tuesday) is his day off. 2) My classes went pretty well (even the one in which I was observed though it seemed to be doomed and I was so nervous). 3) I found out I have been scored almost perfectly by the teachers here. :D 4) I have a pretty easy week next week because four of my classes will be gone. 5) I got more sleep!

basal temp: 35.74

Morning:
- I was nervous getting ready and so panicky on the bus
1st - taught a class, went super well (1.2)
- FINALLY got my SLP for Friday
2nd - corrected worksheets, prepped
3rd - taught 1.3, went super awesomely well
4th - taught 3.7 and was observed

Notes: So, the criticism. All I received seemed to be criticism. :/ It was pretty demoralizing. And all it centered around me not being Japanese. "You didn't understand the students." Well, I did my best! I don't speak very much Japanese. :( "You didn't know what the students wanted/needed." Once again, I don't speak Japanese. She spoke about how AMAZING the JTE was (and he really is) but I felt like it was a really unfair comparison. If they're saying things in Japanese - things they want to know, or don't understand, HELLO. OF COURSE that's why he was able to respond to those needs. I'm doing the best I can with the tools I have. I just felt like a lot of the criticism I received was just a comparison to a teacher who speaks Japanese versus me, who doesn't. I was REALLY hurt when I was told, "If you want to become a good teacher..." I AM a good teacher. Scratch that, I'm a GREAT teacher. If your definition of a "good teacher" is one who speaks Japanese, that's a really wide net and no, I'm not in it. It was a mostly frustrating experience for me. Also, I was talked to through my lunch, so I didn't get to eat until late. -- Oh and get this: I was told that the teachers had given me almost perfect scores. Let's talk about that. These people see me EVERYDAY. So why can't we talk about my non perfect areas from their perspective rather than this one off? THAT would have helped me. It also made me feel vindicated. "Oh you think I'm a crappy teacher? What do the teachers who teach with me 1-4 times a week think? They think I'm almost perfect? Then we're done here!"-- Also I was told, "I think if you ask the JTE, they will say the lesson was very bad." So, with my trepidation, I swallowed my pride and asked. What did he say? "It was perfect! Very well done!" HA! AND AAARRRGGGGHHH!

Afternoon:
- got an earful about not being Japanese during lunch time (as I said)
5th - taught 2.3, went very well
6th-7th - finally ate lunch, corrected worksheets, tried to plan for Friday
- cleaning time
- the bus was REALLY late - I started to worry it wasn't coming and also I was really cold!

Notes: So that lesson that I taught 2.3? The exact same lesson that went so abysmally poorly yesterday. The culture of the class makes such a huge difference! I was dreading teaching that lesson, but glad it was to 2.3, and it went really well and really smoothly. :) What champs!

Evening:
- got home
- cleaned a LITTLE bit, but not all I intended :/ (oh well!)
- made dinner
- spent time chatting with Jerod
- read a little bit

Notes: Love you all! Happy Wednesday - what a weird day to work... I don't think I've ever worked the day before Thanksgiving before... well maybe once. But tomorrow will be the first Thanksgiving I've ever worked. And it's not a thing here at all. Christmas isn't either but they have some "nods" to it, as it were. But NO Thanksgiving. My mom would be so sad! So I am working, but I also get to have a Thanksgiving dinner with the missionaries. YAY! I'm looking forward to that. XOXO, A