T5B: 1) I got to hang out with Limor and Saz most of the day. 2) We saw and got to hang out with Tim for a bit. 3) SLEEPOVER! 4) I got a jacket/coat (for the exact amount I wanted to spend AND it fits)! 5) I did laundry today and my place is fairly clean so I don't have to be all ashamed in front of my company. :)
basal temp: 35.81
Morning:
- woke up way too early :/
- period started, SIX DAYS after my last one ended
- did a load of laundry
- went to Zenrinkan
- one of the ladies in the class was very rude to me :/
- went home, did another load of laundry
Notes: I don't want to talk about what the lady said to me - but it made me sob, so ya, it was WAY outta line and very hurtful.
Afternoon:
- Saz arrives and we hang out and wait for Limor
- Limor arrives and we go to Aeon (the big mall here)
- we shop for 3 hours...
- I found a waterproof jacket that I can wear over my hoodies - the coats didn't fit me :/
- got to message Jerod a lot today
Notes: So grateful I found a jacket! (And I got it for $40!)
Evening:
- We went to a recycle shop, tried on second kimonos
- bought a book from them (Death Note 1)
- went back to my place
- hung out with Tim for a bit and chatted, talked
- they all took off, I showered and am writing this
Notes: Today was ROUGH, but really good too. I didn't mind shopping as much as I usually do because I was too focused on surviving my cramps. :/ So walking around helped and looking at stuff because it distracted me. HOWEVER, I just .. I feel incredibly overwhelmed and disheartened. I JUST finished a period, I had an IV on Tuesday, I'm coming off a monster cold, I'm still having some trouble eating, AND NOW PERIOD #2. I'm behind where I want to be for next week and I just feel like... I just don't understand. I also don't know why my doctor, who I emailed and she emailed back, FAILED TO MENTION that this is fairly normal. I would have said, then no, I don't want to try it. Have you experienced my periods? No. Then don't put me on something that is going to throw off my cycle. I don't understand how this is NOT some form of birth control which I said I ABSOLUTELY DID NOT WANT. Now it feels like she tricked me and my body is against me and I'm in SO MUCH PAIN and I know life is unfair but this is RIDICULOUS at this point. I just want to feel well again. I don't understand why doctors are using me like some sort of petri dish. "Ooh let's add THIS and see what happens!" I just want to give up. It's been SO great seeing the girls. At the same time, I've done a WHOLE lot of sobbing today and been in excruciating pain and WHY?? I just wish I understood the purpose of all this. It feels like I can't face the week. I have slept so little the past two weeks thanks to my period and then being SO ILL and now another week. I'm afraid I'll get sleep deprivation and hallucinate. Ya, THAT will go over well. :,( I just don't know what to do. Still, I love you guys and hope you're doing so much better than me. (Doesn't help that we're not going to a church building tomorrow so I can't skype my parents either. :,c) XOXO, A
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| Just showing off that I'm awesome |
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| Reddit gold I found |
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| See that orange cord in front of the curb? At first I thought it was a snake. I was like "Cool!" then "Oh crap!" because I didn't want to run over it! |
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| The outside of Zenrinkan |
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| At the mall ... wait what!? |
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| Us leaving the mall :) |
I'm so sorry that things are so hard right now. Remember that you're doing all that you can to get well, so you can access the powers of heaven and ask for special blessings. I'm praying for you every single day. Hang on. By the way, Simone and Andy chose 5/3/14 as the date and scheduled the wedding at the SL temple. Awesome. So happy you'll be home for it.
ReplyDeleteYAY! I'm glad I'll be there too!
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