Trying to bounce back

It was appropriate tonight, I think, that I heard the song "Don't Look Back" (Boston) as I walked home from Takamatsuno-Ike. I've spent so much time looking behind me wanting what I had...

I got a whole lot of advice today from family who love me. The salient thing to me was what my sister Simone said, "The Lord knows how to heal you. Ask Him what to do." So I'm trying that. I want to be happy. I just haven't believed I could be happy without what I had. Well, atm, I still feel that way. However, I'm determined to move forward and find my purpose here.

I took an hour and a half walk today. Well, I walked to the church and talked to the branch president... well we used our phones and translation apps to try and communicate - some things just don't translate well, but he was so concerned and kind. He repeatedly asked me, "Why did you come to Japan?" (The app asked it in broken English but that was his question.) All I could say is, "The Lord told me to come." Right now that's what is keeping me here. I want to fly home and crawl under my bed and heal in a place where I feel safe from the world. However, that is not my lot. I can only hope that the quote I used in my talk on the 17th of March is true: Sister Pritt, April 2001 Ensign: One author wrote: “There is a miraculous rebirth, a spiritual phoenix that emerges with our acceptance of the Savior and His Atonement. His spirit heals; it refines; it comforts; it breathes new life into hopeless hearts. It has the power to transform all that is ugly and vicious and worthless in life into something of supreme and glorious splendor. He has the power to convert the ashes of mortality to the beauties of eternity.”

This week has certainly been hopeless, ugly, vicious, and worthless. I hope it gets transformed soon.

Anyway, my visit was nice even though it was a lot of surface talk. President Hoshino asked me "Is everything sufficient?" And I took that to mean he was asking if I needed help with anything at my place. I said I was fine, and he said he was going to order the Liahona for me. I pulled out my wallet, but he waved away my money and said, "Present." I can't wait to be getting church magazines! He asked me in what language I wanted to receive it and I said, "Huransugo, Spengo, Eigo..." Meaning either in French, Spanish or English. I think at first he thought I was asking for all of them, so I put "any" into my translation app and he still asked me to choose. I finally settled on English as I have my Livre de Mormon and my Santa Biblia here. He also allowed me to use the church's wifi so I could download the scriptures onto my phone. I also downloaded the hymns, primary songs, and the past 4 GCs (including this one we just had that my ward doesn't get to watch until this Sunday!). I'm trying. I hope that the Lord helps me. I need it.

Funny Moment:

On the way home, I saw a grocery store. At first I kept walking but then I thought, I've been so nauseous and all I've had to eat the past few days was a bowl of miso a day so I need something. (I can now clasp my smallest fitting bra on the last hooks -the tightest it will go- yay and on noes if my other bras are now too loose!) I went inside to just see if anything looked good. I saw some popcorn, had to grab it, a Coke for my nausea and migraine, and what looked and smelled like an onion roll. Well the onion roll I picked up at the bakery. When I took everything to the checkout stand, the cashier looked for a price on the roll and couldn't find one. She held it out to me and said something. I figured she had said something about the price so I quickly walked over to the bakery. When I turned (after seeing the price), she was running after me! Oops. I was supposed to pay for it at the bakery. *facepalm* I did so and apologized to the cashier. I can never remember the most polite apology (essentially "there is no excuse for my behavior"), so I just kept repeating "Gomen nasai!" Poor chicklet. I wonder if she'll tell her friends and family all about it.

A few pictures: 

A present from my real estate company for signing a lease with them

Inside the present? Bacon and ham! It looked much bigger in the pictures - these are the size of my hands (or those apples! lol)

The bag from the bakery in which came my onion roll - the Japanese are OBSESSED with French - just wait til I get a chance to get a pic of this shop's name in DT Morioka... sheesh!

These two pictures were mislabeled in my pictures folder (they should have been on my April 5th post .. anyway:)

The contents of my fridge after my first shopping trip

The water mains! - That's right, they're in my kitchen floor. During the winter I have to turn them off so the pipes won't burst! Respectively: toilet, tub & washer, and sink - I hope I drain them correctly when the time comes!