Feeling Unreal

T5B: 1) My lessons went well today (and I had a full schedule and cramps so yay)! 2) I got to message Jerod a little bit. 3) I've DECIDED I'm getting to bed early tonight. 4) My cramps are not hurting as much as they have in the past (mmm). 5) I'm having Thanksgiving with the elders and sisters either this week or next. :)

basal temp: 35.68 (forgot and got up)

Morning:
- didn't get enough sleep
- had everything I needed for school (thanks to the Elders!)
- was able to trash some moldy stuff today (felt nice to get it outta here!)
- the bus ride was nice - I listened to Elder Scott's talk from the Sunday session of Conference
1st - prepped like CRAZY for my first two classes (seriously - chicken with its head cut off running around)
2nd - taught a class, went VERY well (1.3)
3rd - taught a class, ran out of time but it went well (2.5)
4th - did more mad prepping since we swapped worksheets (thank goodness I had them ready early!)

Notes: I'm so frustrated with myself that I ran out of time (well actually I thought I had 5 minutes left but was wrong about the class time table). In 1.3... it was glorious. I could do no wrong. Those students just adore me and I adore them!

Afternoon:
- prepping through some of lunch
- wolfed down my lunch just in time
5th - taught a class, went very well (2.1)
6th - taught a class, went very well (2.2)
7th - corrected a mountain of worksheets

Notes: Oh man, there's this student, D, in 2.2 that CRACKS ME UP. One day he was acting really strange to make his friends laugh so I came up and stood behind him as he kept going. I then surprised him by saying, "Odorimasu ka?" (Are you dancing?) He jumped and shook his head quickly. We both love horror flicks so I feel a sort of kinship with him. Well, he LOVES to tease Kanamori-sensei and she just falls for it every time. LOL Today we were correcting part one together and I gave out chalk and then asked students to write the answers on the board and then give the chalk to someone else. "Daredemo ii" (anyone is good). So D gets the chalk, writes his answer and asks me, "Daredemo ii?" I KNEW what he was thinking. I grinned and said yes. Then of course he says, "The Kanamori!" And runs around the room to where she is sitting. I encouraged her to write the answer and she did so. It was great. Then later in the class period he was pestering her again. When I walked up, he pointed to her and said, "She is crazy!" I wanted him to say the same thing to me (put us in the same category) so I could respond positively to it (since I'm not sure if K-s is bothered by this joker ~truly~ or not). So I said, "What about me?" (Wanting him to call me crazy.) He turns to his friends and starts saying he doesn't know how to say it in English. That had me a little worried about what he wanted to say, lol, but he finally turned to me and said, "You are cute!" I, surprised, said, "Aww! Thank you!" And then walked quickly away since that backfired on me - and didn't want to be seen to linger and potentially be rubbing it in K-s's face. I appreciated it a lot. Maybe we'll get to a point where he will call me crazy and I will enthusiastically thank him. :) So funny when 2.6 told me that they were as crazy as me. It was fun to respond to them. (Sorry I'm being wordy tonight.) -- One more quick story I just remembered. Last week in 1.1, I was walking around and then said something to one boy in the back, he jumped SO HIGH. I felt really badly. I scared him very badly. Oops. That's the .. third? time I've done that. Sorry the students!

Evening:
- got to message Jerod
- ate dinner
- threw  :/
- laid on the heating pad

Notes: Oh man. I was SO excited. Last week was the first week in a LONG time that I didn't throw up and I was just thinking today, "I forgot to write on my blog that I was officially vomit free!" I thought too soon! ARGH! :/ Oh well. At least it was only once. My cramps really are hurting less. Maybe old habits die hard? Or my body is still sick. I've been sneezing A TON lately. It's weird. I don't know if it's an allergy or a cold. I usually don't sneeze for colds but I do for allergies. OH! Also there was a brief snow storm today! Then it turned into rain, then it stopped. It's supposed to snow tonight. All you at home, stay warm and please join with me in praying for peace and love for Teresa's family and friends. Love you all! XOXO, A

-- Oh and the title of my blog is because I've been feeling unreal lately. It's a strange feeling. I feel like I'm someone else's dream. I think I am underslept and overworked atm. Yeesh.

So this appeared by my apartment. It's crazy - usually in Japan they repurpose but suddenly they tear this building down! (To the left is that lot behind my apartment)

AHAHAHA A "succer" game. Yes, soccer DOES suck, IMO. :)

My on the bus - My hair is so crazy! It's getting long but also, it seems to grow dark at the roots and light on the ends because I have not seen that much sun - as shown by my pale face! :) (riding home)

Stressful Morning, Better Day

T5B: 1) I got to message Jerod today. 2) I found out Teresa saw my message and responded positively to it. 3) I was able to make another worksheet (this was a monster one - took a while). 4) I'm just about ready for the next two weeks! Feels great to get ahead! 5) Last night was warmer and my bed was nice! My mattress isn't good anymore (have to get rid of it), but the tatami has some give so I didn't wake up aching everywhere. :) Also just having a bed makes me feel like I have a home. It's weird but it's changed the feeling of my whole place for me.

basal temp: 36.35

2 old stories: So yesterday at church, forgot to tell you, I ended up singing a solo in Relief Society! We had a quiz that the teacher called "Kind of difficult." I made a joke "Kind of!?" Since Sister Mataoa and I were totally lost. Guess who aced the quiz!? She put up the years that the prophets served, and I know the primary song. So I kept giving her the names. Everyone was wowed and I told them it was a song. So then Seiko-shimai starts (I think) asking me to sing. And keeps asking me. So I do. I stopped for a few seconds at the end (where all the new prophets that have been added since I was little came in) but ya, I sang a solo! :) It went well. :) -- Other story: So when I taught M that Halloween lesson, I brought some color by letter. She started coloring when the lesson ended. So I thanked her and left to go to lunch. Near the end of lunch, she shyly came to my desk and asked (in sign) if she could color her paper. I told her it was ok. She made sure she could color the whole thing, and I said yes. :) It just warmed my heart to see her so excited. And she's SO cute!

Morning:
- couldn't find my water bottle
- found out I left my folder WITH MY WORKSHEETS at the church
- left the house without my lunch (and late since I was looking for the above things)
- decided to run back and get it anyway and prayed the bus would be late
- called the elders and left them a message asking them to do me a HUGE favor and drop the folder off to me later
- the bus was late (hallelujah that was a MIRACLE today)
- the Raiders won against the cow heads (texans) and the Giants beat the Pack! HAHAHAHA! (both my teams won)
- the elders called later and said they would grab it and drop it off for me
- my gum made me laugh ~ it said, "It is gentle." As though other Japanese gums are violent and vicious! LOL
- prepped

Notes: --

Afternoon:
- made that worksheet, took me a couple hours
- messaged Jerod
- found out I didn't get to go home early again which SUCKED as I had worked my butt off to finish my work early so I had 3.5 hours to WAIT
- killed time til it was time to go

Notes: --

Evening:
- my folder was waiting for me (mmm - the elders are awesome!)
- messaged Jerod
- ate dinner
- ate some popcorn (feels so great to have an appetite for that again!)
- took care of a moldy item (throwing it out tomorrow - had to break it down today)
- played a couple games on my phone

Notes: I was hoping to make it an early night but I was too stubborn to get to bed earlier. :/ I found out from Jerod today that Teresa has taken a turn for the worse and it's been an emotionally rough day. I have had an improvement with my cramps though! They hurt about 10% less! So the seaweed (source of iodine), plus red meat, plus progesterone is helping! YAY! Hope you are all doing well. All my love, XOXO, A

(Emotionally) Hard Day

T5B: 1) I was able to record a message for Teresa. 2) I got to message Jerod. 3) I've made more plans and looked at flights for going home. 4) I got a bed! Free! 5) Church was nice.

basal temp: 34.47 0.o

Morning:
- got ready as quickly as possible
- got to church early, Teresa was asleep :(
- recorded three messages from Teresa because one person kept interrupting me
- cried a lot :/
- Sacrament Meeting was nice (the talks were about Christ and mission work)
- RS was interesting - didn't understand most of it, lol!

Notes: I was SO upset to not be able to see Teresa in person. I hope that she can feel my love through the message I sent. Saying goodbye to a blank screen... to my own face being recorded... it was hard. :(

Afternoon:
- I directed choir! (I feel I did poorly - but they were great!)
- I skyped my maman and papa
- I talked to the elders and sisters about Thanksgiving :)
- I pedaled home fast
- I got a free bed, set it up
- showered
- ate a late lunch

Notes: The choir made me cry! I'm not sure why they made me director... often choirs make me cry! I suppose that's how they will joke they know they've done well. "Did Ann-shimai cry!?" LOL I feel blessed to have the calling but I feel very ... VERY inadequate to do it. The Lord trusts me so much! I felt like an idiot the whole time (like why should they listen to me!?) but I loved it!

Evening:
- messaged Jerod, talked to him about plans for coming home
- read a little bit
- ate dinner
- tried not to dread the week (heavy teaching week)

Notes: I'm basically ready for the week (minus Friday though I am ready for ONE lesson that day) -- OOH! I forgot to tell you! So, on Friday, I was asked to correct M's English composition. She wrote some sentences about me! The one that really touched my heart was "Ann-teacher is my friend." I almost cried. I changed it to, "Miss Ann" and told Kawai-sensei how great I felt about that. I learned how to sign friend and later when I saw M, I told her in sign that we were friends. She was so funny about it. She put her hand on her chest and gasped (like old style debutantes!) and asked to make sure. Then ran and excitedly told Kawai-sensei. :D I love that girl so much! She wrote that my classes were fun too. :D No matter what else happens here, that little girl altered my life. I can only hope that I have had the same impact on my students' lives as they've had on mine. Hope you all have a wonderful week! XOXO, A

bed "before" pictures

I put the frame together, then the slats, then I put on the tatami (there's one on ↑)

Finished product: a bed! (I have since straightened up a little more - and am wearing those socks on the ground - still! YAY!  A bed!!)

Got so much done!

T5B: 1) I got so much done! 2) I got to talk to Jerod. 3) I printed my worksheets and choir music. 4) I got some winter gear. 5) I'm starting to make plans for coming home. (Yay!)

basal temp: 36.74

Morning:
- woke up, showered, did dishes
- did some laundry
- went to the mall
- had lunch with my oneechan and the elders

Notes: --

Afternoon:
- my oneechan helped me get a bunch of good stuff that I needed
- she dropped me off (and picked me up)
- I went grocery shopping
- read and laid on the heating pad (CRAMPS)

Notes: --

Evening:
- I ate dinner
- I got to message Jerod
- I read a little more
- I talked to Limor on the phone

Notes: I'm planning on trying to call Teresa before church tomorrow. I hope it works - I hope I can get up in good time and get there in good time. :/ She's loosing lucidity and hospice has her on bed rest with only pain medication right now. :c So I want to be able to take the opportunity to speak with her and tell her how much I love and appreciate her. I got a lot done today but I feel icky between my cramps and being sad. I am praying for peace for myself and for Teresa's family. My love and prayers for all of you as well! XOXO, A

My gift from Kawai-sensei (from yesterday)

My lunch today - Korean beef bowl

Got a new phone charging cord - my other one was really spotty (lost connection)

What's that? I can't hear you through my new ear muffs!

With regular lighting - I got gloves (pink, brown, and white), a scarf (brown), and ear muffs (brown and white) for a really great price! They don't TECHNICALLY match my jacket, but I"m ready for winter and looking so fine!

Made it through the week!

T5B: 1) My lessons went well today. :) 2) Got to message Jerod and Dre and my little brother again today. 3) I got the recipe for Potato Mochi! 4) I'm going to lunch tomorrow with my Oneechan and the elders! I also will pick up some gloves, a scarf, and something for my ears (I'm thinking one of those head bands). 5) I get to sleep in tomorrow! That's the first Saturday in a while!

basal temp: 35.96 (I forgot but I got it after - so Imma count it!)

Morning:
- got up, ready scriptures, got ready
1st-2nd - prepped
3rd - taught a class, went well (we had two girls visiting) (2a1)
4th - tied up some loose ends, prepped a little

Notes: The visiting girls were twins: R & R (:)). They had their parents with them and then a woman whose role I don't know. The woman loved my lesson though. She asked me a couple times if it was ok if she took a picture. :) I said sure. :) (Of the board, me teaching, etc)

Afternoon:
- lunch was good
5th - taught a class, went very well (3a1)
- ride home was pleasant
- went to the bank/post office (one in the same)
- did some reading

Notes: I love all my students but I was especially happy today as I saw one girl who before I had seen crestfallen that I was teaching was excited that I was teaching today! I won her over! YAY!!!

Evening:
- read a little more
- got to message Jerod
- was cold (lol)

Notes: The sun set today at 1620! I'm getting worried as winter solstice is December 21st so there's still a lot more time I can lose off my day! Crazy how two months ago I couldn't keep the sweat off me because it was so stinkin hot and it went straight to freezing! There's one other thing on my mind a lot lately. Teresa is really ill - her third time through chemo destroyed her liver. I see pictures of her on facebook that make me happy because she is smiling and I get to see her but then I get very sad because she is so thin and now she is on bed rest. I feel so powerless and I don't know how to help Jerod. I feel like I have lost more than my fair share of loved ones! My maternal grandmother three years ago, my uncle two years ago, my brother-in-law last year (all these happened in February), my friend last year, my aunt this year, and now my mother-in-law will be lucky to make it to Christmas. I don't know how to stop being sad and I don't know how to help Jerod. I'm so far away. I keenly feel that the whole set up is unfair too. I only got to see Teresa twice and I love her dearly. I wanted to spend a long time getting to know and love my mother-in-law. I also never even got to meet my brother-in-law who passed away. I know they will be waiting for us on the other side. I am grateful for that knowledge. In the meantime, I feel such sorrow at not having had more time with these people. Even my own grandmother who lived a very long time didn't spend much time with us until she was very ill and I feel like I never really got to know her. Please pray for the Williams/Errichiellos/Carlisles. I feel like I should know what to say and I just don't. It makes me feel foolish that I have nothing to give to them. (I know I'm not the Savior - I just feel like there should be some way I could communicate my testimony without being overbearing or weird. I just haven't found it yet. I just keep praying everyone will feel peace.) Well I hope your hearts are less heavy. Wish I could be at home right now to help my mom prepare for her favorite holiday. :) I'll be thinking of you Maman! Love to you all! XOXO, A

Oh! One more thing: I'm so frustrated my little brother didn't make the basketball team! He worked so hard and was told he'd probably make it last year... :c

My Día de los Muertos mask from last week

Up close!